it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
