So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
