Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
