Screwed.edu
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
