I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
