Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
