we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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