i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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