Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
