Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize