Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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