ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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