My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
