going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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