Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
