I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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