I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize