How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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