duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
