it was like eating out sand paper
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
