Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Your cock deserves a montage
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
