Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

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(850): View more from Florida

I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room

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(218): View more from Minnesota

nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am too young to be this hungover

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?

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(229): View more from Georgia

Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad

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(+61): View more from Australia

You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?

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