absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
