I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
