you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize