i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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