I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
