So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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