So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
