today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
