i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
