Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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