Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
