I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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