K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
