Whod you bang
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
