There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
