i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
