The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
