My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oh god the rape fog is back!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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