at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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