apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize