She is in my trunk
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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