Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize