Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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