My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
