YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
