woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
