The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
