At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Non-Jews are for practice
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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