FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
