What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
