I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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