She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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