I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
