We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
