THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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