Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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