I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
